Stuck indoors? Miss our pizza? Hankering for a bottle of wine? Been gasping for a decent burger?

Yeah that’s right, we’ve joined forces with the boys from Don’t Tell the Duke to bring you everything you need. If you’re coming from the Don’t Tell the Duke site, welcome to Tom Foolery!

Order Now

Call to order from 9.30 am – 4 pm every day to pick your timeslot for delivery or contactless collection. Orders and payments are only taken over the phone.

Delivery and collection times

Mon – Sat: 4.30 pm – 9 pm

5 – mile radius, £25 minimum spend with £3 delivery charge.

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Starters, Nibbles and Sides

Mix and match these lovelies with the rest of our menu for a belting feast. From crispy chilli pork to pigs in blankets we’ve got a little something for everyone.

Starters, nibbles and sides


Tomato and Garlic bread

Our Neapolitan base slathered in marinara sauce and garlic oil. Might stink out the house a bit but who cares, not like we're getting visitors anyway...


Cheesy Garlic Bread

We've got our garlic bread good and cheesy!


Chilli and garlic bread

Turn up the heat and the stink with this chilli and tomato garlic bread.


Mozzarella Salad

Soft and stringy Mozzarella cheese with ripe beef tomatoes and rocket. Too indulgent to be classed as a salad in my opinion.



Melted Mozzarella & Piri Piri skin on chunky chips baked until golden brown and gooey.


Skin on chunky chips


Crispy Chili Pork

Shredded pork battered with chilli and sticky hoisin sauce and topped with spring onions.


Randy Marsh Salad

Pulled chicken, bacon and onion salad. We all know Randy likes to pull his meat.



Our burgers are pretty special, we pack those buns with the best meat from our local butchers or futuristic ‘bleeding’ plant protein patties topped with vegan cheese.

All our burgers are served in a brioche or pretzel (ve) bun and come with skin on chunky chips and side salad. There are also gluten free buns so no one has to have that awkward bunless burger. We know it’s not the same.



Liz Card

6oz Beef Patty, Caramelised Onions, Cheddar Cheese, Cos Lettuce and Red Aioli.


Boogie Nights (VE)

Non-meat beef patty, black olive tapenade, cheese, lettuce & tomato


Notorious P.I.G

6oz beef patty, shredded BBQ pork, American cheese and lettuce.


Viva La Furlough

Chicken breast, treacle cured bacon, avocado smash, garlic aioli, lettuce, and sliced tomato.


Double Trouble

Two 4oz beef patties with bacon and American cheese.



Our chefs are dedicated to ensuring that our Neapolitan inspired pizzas are perfect every time. The hand-stretched dough is true to the Neapolitan method and topped with a freshly made Marinara sauce using only the best San Marzano tomatoes. We use Fior de Latte (milk’s flower), which is cow’s milk mozzarella, as it melts without browning into pools of creamy and stretchy deliciousness.

We also offer a great gluten-free base, so you don’t have to miss out if flour gives you the fear.

Gluten-free bases are available! All 12-inch bases!

Pizzas (Gluten Free available for £3 extra)


Margherita (v)

Light and fluffy and crispy Neapolitan style pizza base topped with basil pesto, fior de latte and marinara sauce.

We live on them, you'll love them.


The Fun Guy!

Salty Spec ham with garlic mushrooms on top of fior de latte, marinara sauce and a Neapolitan style base.

Super moreish and a blast at parties.


Kev's Famous Pepperoni

There has been a lot of discussions and whispering behind closed doors about our chef Kev's pepperoni... pizza.

It's definitely a quality mouthful served up with red onion, melty mozzarella, and marinara sauce.


Cheesus Christ (V)

Cheesus Mary and Joseph that's a lot of cheese! We're stacking our Neapolitan style pizzas with mozzarella, blue cheese, parmesan, and cheddar.

So much saturated fat it's almost blasphemous!


Spicy Sausage Party

Who wants a spicy sausage party in their (pizza) box? I know I do, with pepperoni, smoky chorizo, big fat olives, rocket, and grated parmesan.

This will have you coming back for more every time.


Carol Baskin (VE)

Bring out your inner conservationist with a pizza that never hurt a fly (?). It's not too exotic an animal but it's delicious with mushrooms, peppers, tomato, and vegan cheese on our Neapolitan base.


Pizza Making Kit

Spent the first few weeks of lockdown building yourself a pizza oven? We have an amazing pizza making kit that includes Tom Foolery’s legendary Neapolitan pizza dough that’s hand-kneaded and made to order. Enough to make two Margherita pizzas at approx 10/12″.

Chicken and Pepperoni Box

  • 2 x Tomfoolery dough balls (contains gluten)
  • 1 spare dough ball
  • 2 x portions of our San Marzano tomato sauce
  • 2 x portions of Fior De Latte Mozzarella (diary)
  • 2 x portions of chicken
  • 2 x portions of onion
  • 2 x portions of pepperoni
  • fresh basil
  • cup of pizza flour
  • spare 9″ pizza box to decorate

Mushroom Pizza Box (V)

  • 2 x Tomfoolery dough balls (contains gluten)
  • 1 spare dough ball
  • 2 x portions of our San Marzano tomato sauce
  • 2 x portions of Fior De Latte Mozzarella (diary)
  • 2 x portions of peppers
  • 2 x portions of onion
  • 2 x portions of mushrooms
  • cup of pizza flour
  • spare 9″ pizza box to decorate


All ingredients can be refrigerated and will last up to 3 days.

Remove the pizza dough from the bag and leave to prove for 4 hours at room temperature on a plate covered in cling film.

When cooking in a normal oven you will ideally need to get your hands on a pizza pan that fits 12″, this will make sure you get a consistent and not soggy base!  You want the temperature as high as possible, at 250 degrees. Leave the oven to preheat for as long as you can while preparing the pizza.

Cook the pizza on the pan for 10 minutes in the centre of the oven, do not open the oven but do keep an eye on it in case it burns.

Watch our pizza preparing video to help you stretch the dough and top it!

Do post and tag us in your creations!


Cereals, lupin, dairy.


PRICE: £8 for two pizzas or for £15 for four.


The legend of the Parmo dates back to World War II where Nicos Harris, a brave American soldier injured in France was brought to Middlesborough. He enjoyed the Teeside Riviera so much that he decided to set up an American Grill, where he introduced the Parmo to the North.

We’re pretty sure he deserves a medal of honour for his services to British cuisine, others have argued he’s the cause of the obesity crisis in Teeside. Either way, we hope our enourmous Parmo does justice to his legacy.

Served with Red Aioli and Wedges, our Parmo is not for the faint hearted, or those with heart conditions.



Classic Parmo

The biggest chicken breast you've ever seen coated in panko crumbs topped with garlic bechamel sauce, stringy mozzarella, and melted cheddar cheese.

Truly a testament to our friends in the far north.



Our goliath chicken breast is coated in a panko crumb topped with a rich and spicy bechamel sauce, picante chorizo, jalapenos, gooey mozzarella, and melted cheddar cheese.

You'll be needing a cold lager with this one...



Let's just agree to quit the diet and go ham with a big breaded chicken breast shredded BBQ pork, red onion and Chipotle topped with bechamel and cheddar cheese.


Lockdown Cowboy

This gentle beast of a chicken parmo will get you dreamin' 'bout life on the ranch as it's topped with ribeye steak pieces (served pink), chimichurri, bechamel, melted cheese and crispy onion.


Sharing boards

Want a lot of meat in your box? We’re giving you a great big treat with our takeaway sharing boards. Perfect for those extra special occasions.



Finally, snap the string on your sweatpants with this big boy.

Chicken parmo topped with bechamel, and chunks of ribeye steak with crispy onion, chimichurri topping. Chicken, bacon, and hash brown burger. Crispy chilli pork. Mozzarella salad. Chunky hand-cut chips.


Sauces and Dips

Buffalo BBQ
Smoked BBQ

Price: £2


White Wine

Panuelo Blanco £8.00
Le beau Sud Sauvignon Blanc £10.00
Leefield Station Sauvignon Blanc (Malborough) £15.00

Red wine

Panuelo Tinto £8.00
Amodo Pinot Noir £10.00
The Guv’nor £14.00

Rose Wine

Whispering Hills White Zinfandel £8.00
Le Coc Perdu GSM Rose £15.00

Beer, cider and softs

Soft Drinks – £1.50

Diet Coke

Bottled Beer – £3.50

Corona 4.5%
Peroni Red 4.7%
Peroni Libera 0%
Gluten-Free Peroni 5.1%

Bottled Cider – £4.00

Herrljunga Strawberry and Vanilla 4%
Herrljunga Blackcurrant and Lime 4%

Draught Beer

Peroni £5.25
Guinness £5.25
Meantime £5.25
Saucery GF IPA £5.85
Amstel £5.00



Our cocktails are back! £7 each or two for £10.



Espresso Martini

One to wake you up and smack you up. Made in-house with Maude Coffee cold-brewed, Vodka and Kahlua.


Pornstar Martini

Much like the pornstar you know and love, you lay back and let us do all the work. Vodka, Passoa, passion fruit puree, fresh lime, pineapple juice, and prosecco.



A short sharp melon bang bang. Should cure all your health problems. Midori, Cointreau and fresh lime.



Need we say more? We know you've been missing this, with Rum, Mint, Fresh lime and soda.



Come on……. Well, it’s definitely not a pizza. Tequila, Cointreau and fresh lime.


Mai Tai is Choking Me

Rum, Rum and more rum. Almond syrup and orange liqueur. Boozy fast. Gold Rum, Dark Rum, Orgeat, and Cointreau.


Pina’s Colada

If you like Pina Coladas, walking the dog round a field, sat watching Netflix, eating a Twix as a meal, sleeping 5 hours after midnight...

Sorry. Let us give you a taste of the holiday you weren’t allowed to go on with Koko Kanu Coconut Rum, Malibu, Lime, and Pineapple juice


I Got Wood

The classic old fashioned with a maple syrup oakwood twist. Woodford Bourbon, Angostura bitters and maple syrup.


Not Another Long Island

The trashiest of cocktails. Hated by every bartender because of how many different spirits are in it. Guaranteed to get you smashed though! We'll make it but we won't be happy. Vodka, Tequila, Gin, Rum and Cointreau. Topped with Coca-Cola.


Kev's got a Leblon

You heard us. Kev's got his hands full of cocktail. Leblon Cachaca Sugar Cane Rum, Orgeat, fresh lime, pineapple juice.


Order Now

Give us a call on 01937 541500, Food service runs from 4.30 pm – 9 pm.

We want to treat this like you’re booking a table, so will give you a dedicated half an hour slot for us to deliver or for you to collect your food. We will prioritise housebound, at risk individuals where possible for deliveries, so if you can make it down for collection please do! 3 – mile radius for delivery, £25 minimum spend and £3 delivery charge.

Do let us know if you have any allergies or special requirements for your order and we will do our best to accommodate you.

Contactless Collection

All collections are contactless and taken from the Bridge Street windows. Please wait in your car until your allocated time slot, one person at a time. We won’t be taking any orders in person so if you’re self-isolating you can still come and collect.  Safety first!

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We don’t want anyone to miss out on our takeout, our chefs made sure there are equally delightful gluten-free, vegetarian and vegan options available. Please be advised that, as we produce fresh dough on-site, we are unable to cater for celiacs due to cross-contamination. We sincerely apologise for this.

Taking Fun Seriously Since 1986